Jim Norton (@JimNorton)

22651 posts      516398 followers      188 followings     

THE DEGENERATES SEASON 2 now streaming on NETFLIX - TICKETS http://JimNorton.com/tour

John Wayne Gacy's basement.

2009-01-19 23:27:44

My smile in this photo will probably irritate everyone, as it should. It’s awful. Finally got to meet @JamieLSigler

My smile in this photo will probably irritate everyone, as it should. It’s awful. Finally got to meet  @Jamie-Lynn Sigler

Thank you @OzzyOsbourne. An amazing compliment from my favorite person on the planet.

Thank you  @Ozzy Osbourne. An amazing compliment from my favorite person on the planet.

I’m tired of all this badmouthing of  @Joe Biden (Text Join to 30330). There’s no law that says a candidate has to know which office they’re running for.  #JoeForComptroller

On the MacBook Pro,  @Apple’s Photos app is enraging. You give the photo a name in the Photos app and then if you drag the image to your desktop it reverts to having no name. What a horrible app

Watching morning shows it's disheartening to watch reporters exaggerating grievances or controversies re  @Donald J. Trump-It's undeniably confirmation of my main point concerning coverage of  @President Trump-Reporters will construe every word out of his mouth in the most evil way possible.

Great seeing @RealGilbert today. Here we are backstage at Carolines in 1999. We look like shit now. We looked like shit then.

Great seeing  @Gilbert Gottfried today. Here we are backstage at Carolines in 1999. We look like shit now. We looked like shit then.

January 25, 1982. A little over 38 years ago, @OzzyOsbourne and I crossed paths for the first time. Sort of.

January 25, 1982. A little over 38 years ago,  @Ozzy Osbourne and I crossed paths for the first time. Sort of.

So happy to see Fez tonight in Tampa!

So happy to see Fez tonight in Tampa!

There are some tickets available for @JimNorton at 10:30 tonight! Go to  to reserve. #SideSplitters

There are some tickets available for  @Jim Norton at 10:30 tonight! Go to http://SIDESPLITTERSCOMEDY.COM to reserve.  #SideSplitters

Great article by  @Saad Mohseni in today's  @USA TODAY!

If you want to come see me at Sidesplitters in Tampa, there are some tickets for tonight, Saturday is completely sold out. https://sidesplitterscomedy.laughstub.com/event.cfm?showTimingID=539689

Hey @JimNorton - maybe when you leave town you keep your opinions to yourself. 

This is unnecessary and probably very poorly received by @MrMikeCalta

Hey  @Jim Norton - maybe when you leave town you keep your opinions to yourself. This is unnecessary and probably very poorly received by  @Mike Calta

Great time today as always thanks for having me in.

Thank you @MichaelRapaport and The Pastie Twink Dean Collins and of course @JimNorton for a great morning of radio!

Thank you  @MichaelRapaport and The Pastie Twink Dean Collins and of course  @Jim Norton for a great morning of radio!

I will be going live on  @Mike Calta show in a few minutes. I’m in Tampa tonight and tomorrow, this was booked very last minute. https://sidesplitterscomedy.laughstub.com/event.cfm?showTimingID=539689

Little man just got his first hearing device. Wait for it.

This is the Twitter content I’m here for...💪😍😇❤️💥😏

Little man just got his first hearing device. Wait for it. This is the Twitter content I’m here for...💪😍😇❤️💥😏

The other passengers hate how I loudly refer to all of us as “shit pellets in a big silver bird”

We are packed in like sardines on this plane, but no one likes a complainer.

We are packed in like sardines on this plane, but no one likes a complainer.

I was just notified my flight will arrive 5 minutes early. I understand there’s a lot of pain the world, I just wanted to spread a little good news to help people forget for a while.

Someone told me  @Amy Klobuchar did a joke about  @Donald J. Trump’s hair but I can’t seem to find it anywhere online.

Now up, the new @UFCUnfiltered featuring @RenzoGracieBJJ. Also @JanBlachowicz and @TheJamesKrause. And my closest friend, Matt Serra

Now up, the new  @UFC Unfiltered featuring  @Renzo_Gracie_BJJ. Also  @Jan Blachowicz and  @James Krause. And my closest friend, Matt Serra

Anyone who tweets that Ja’net DuBois “moved on up to a de-lux apartment in the sky” should have their phone smashed.

My grandmother used to hate when I made noise during The Jeffersons theme song because she looked forward to it all week and I constantly spoiled it for her. That’s the only semi-Ja’net DuBois story I have.

Marky Mark, Kevin Federline, Macklemore and Debbie Harry

which four rappers would you pick to be on hip-hop's mount rushmore?

My son FaceTimed me with his new @ChipChipperson emoji. You can tell by my expression I wasn’t happy @JimNorton I blame you.

My son FaceTimed me with his new  @The Chip Chipperson Show emoji. You can tell by my expression I wasn’t happy  @Jim Norton I blame you.

Our full 90 minute interview with  @Donald Trump Jr. is now up https://youtu.be/HJScmJUJWCM

I just tried my a deep space radio joke onstage at  @The Comedy Cellar. It BOMBED

Astronomers have discovered a radio signal coming from deep space. The bad news is it’s playing country music.  #FairlyWeakJoke

Grammy Award-winning musician and cultural icon @OzzyOsbourne; and television star Jack Osbourne will sit down with comedian, radio personality, author and actor @JimNorton at #SXSW 2020!

Grammy Award-winning musician and cultural icon  @Ozzy Osbourne; and television star Jack Osbourne will sit down with comedian, radio personality, author and actor  @Jim Norton at  #SXSW 2020! http://ow.ly/fmoa50yjQGR

I did this ridiculous NASA broom test. My broom sucks and I expected it to let me down. 
#NASAbroomTest.

I did this ridiculous NASA broom test. My broom sucks and I expected it to let me down.  #NASAbroomTest.

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